Posted by Rok at December 4th, 2007

Last friday, I boarded a plane to Hyderabad, India. As much as India was never on my top list of places to visit, I was very happy to be going there on business. I always try to request a window seat in the exit row, considering my height and the fact that you can lean against the window while napping. I managed to get it so I was really happy about that. As per usual, I hoped that there would be no screaming kids around me so I could enjoy my seat. Somehow, things went horribly wrong from there. The plane was literally 50% children, some only a couple of days old. No families with less than 3 kids and no men without a mustache. So there went my good seat and a nap, down the drain.

I love travelling the 3rd world countries. I love everything about them. Street food, funny different people, customs, the chaos, transportation, cheapness, bargaining, the adventure, the smiles that are a lot more common than in any western country. However, I hate the fact that I am usually the tallest and whitest person around. I just stick out . Even with my darkest possible Brazilian tan I just can’t compete. Maybe if I let a mustache grow…? As much as I have always considered my height somewhat beneficial with the ladies, it just doesn’t help here :|

I was warmly welcomed by the Indian winter, 30 degrees by day, 20 by night, no humidity. I am happy to be avoiding another winter :P But how does one describe India? I had friends who visited it tell me stories about it but this is just another place you have to see for yourself. Now I only have Mozambique, China, Russia and Japan left before I can say I’ve seen it all and buy a house in the country with a bunch of dogs and a windmill and never having to leave the place again.

The fact that India has 1.12billion people is reflected on every step. You have people working, peeing, living, sleeping, lounging, loitering on every square inch of the country. There’s incredible amount of people employed to open doors, to keep company to a chauffeur, hand out napkins, stand and look somewhat professional in a uniform that gives him god knows which function etc.
But, incredibly kind people. Smiling, smiling, smiling. Opening doors, loitering or just banging on a piece of metal in the gutter trying to make a nail out of it that he can then sell for 0.00037$.

The traffic, no comment. The closest analogy would be the frogger game. With only one life. Hence the pollution that is so bad you think the rain’s gonna start pouring any second. But it’s a perfectly clear day, no clouds, just thick thick smog. Did these guys really ratify the Kyoto???

Love the food. Breakfast, 21 spicy things. Lunch, buffet of 47 spicy things. Dinner, spicy. Snacks, spicy. Peanuts, spicy. Chocolate, spicy. I am probably being to graphical when I say it even burns when I take a dump.

I was being slightly naive when I expected that I could get by with English, considering it’s an official language and an ex British colony. Not Hyderabad it’s not. They speak Telugu here which is pretty Chinese to me. And I hate when I can’t speak the local language. After trying to learn so many languages, one still feels so powerless in this place. Their English goes as far as: Yes sir, Hello Boss and my friend. An example of a conversation:

Naive me: Hi, which direction is the lake?
Friendly smiling Indian: Yes sir.
Naive me: The lake, where?
Friendly smiling Indian: Yes sir.
Naive me: Is it that way or that way (pointing in opposite directions)?
Friendly smiling Indian: Yes boss.
Naive me: You have no clue do you?
Friendly smiling Indian: Yes sir.
Naive me: Thank you.
Friendly smiling Indian: You’re welcome sir.

They’re friendly, I give them that. No crime, terrorism, danger (apart from traffic).

I also don’t quite get the head bobbing. Basically, they bob their heads from side to side when they agree or instead of saying aha or yes. Which is really confusing since in the west we would use that gesture to disagree with something. So imagine me giving a lecture on a model-view-controller framework and Java compilation (and other realllly interesting crap like that) with the whole class bobbing their heads. Very hard to get used to it.

But it’s all good. I will leave India with nothing but good memories and impressions. I went to see a bollywood movie tonight which Monika highly recommended and I agree, it’s a must see. 3 hours of pure happiness, singing, dancing, with an interval in between like a theatre so you can buy more popcorn :) I cannot begin to describe the difference to movies we’re used to. Download or go see Om Shanti Om, you just need to see one proper bollywood movie before you die!!! It was the best entertainment value I could get for a euro and a half for a first class Imax theatre :)
Om Shanti Om!